bsc_snark: Karen's Big Sister (8-14)

All right. Let's see where Karen ends up in the great Battle Of The Pin. (Though we all know what she's about to do, guys. It's what most of you hate her for.)?

Chapter 8
Karen claims she wants to go look at the pin while Kristy's at Mary Anne's. Yeah, sure, Karen, whatever helps you sleep at night. She goes into the room and snoops all through Kristy's room for the damn thing, saying "Kristy won't like me snooping around but she sucks so who gives a crap," basically. Karen, you're so lucky Kristy thinks she's 25 and isn't like other 13-year-old sisters, or you would be eating dirt. After snooping EVERYWHERE ELSE in the room, Karen goes to the jewelry box and finds it there. Please, she knew it was there the whole time. She just wanted to trash Kristy's room out of spite. Karen goes to her room with the pin and then has a fight with her conscience. Of course, she doesn't listen to it, and so she takes the pin and wears it under her sweater. Oh boy, here it goes.?
Chapter 9
Karen's neglect to mention the pin after she steals it indicates she shows absolutely no remorse or care for Kristy whatsoever. She traipses over to Hannie's to play in the snow, and then she remembers about the pin. She doesn't remember that maybe she should GIVE IT BACK, of course, but she remembers she wanted to show it off to Hannie. She tells Hannie that her father gave it to her and he wanted her to have it. HA. HA. HA. She then proceeds to run around and play in the snow while encumbered by a priceless family heirloom. After the snow day is over, Karen peels off her winter layers and discovers OH SHIT, WHERE'S THE PIN????
Chapter 10
While Karen and Hannie are looking for the pin, Karen blurts out "KRISTY WILL KILL ME!" and then Hannie's like "Wait what's Kristy gotta do with anything" and Karen is forced to admit it's actually Kristy's pin. Wow, Karen, you're very smart. Karen tells about how she was liek ttly just borrowing it from Kristy mmkay, and Hannie's like "You mean you stole it." Karen's like whatever man we need to look for it like srsly. They look all over the place but yeah, no. Once you lose something in a huge snow, it's as good as gone. Hannie looks plain scary in the illustration. She has no eyes. Seriously, the illustrator forgot to include her eyes and she's just got two empty black sockets. They fail to find the pin and Karen is in deep shit.?
Chapter 11
Karen forgets all about the pin for a while in the midst of planning Miss Colman's gift for the baby shower. But then Kristy comes home and uh-oh, baby blankets can't save you now! Kristy neglects to find out about the pin all day, and so therefore Karen neglects to tell her what happened and decides she's gonna make up a bullshit story about it instead.?
Chapter 12
Karen forgets all about the pin again in the midst of shower planning with her classmates. Fuck baby showers, for real. They're the most boring unbearable parties ever, next to bridal showers. Moving on.
Chapter 13?
A week goes by and Kristy still hasn't found out about the pin. To Karen, this means she doesn't give a damn and she's therefore safe. But she's wrong, dead wrong. Because while Karen is knitting the baby blanket later on, she is the FIRST one Kristy goes to to finally ask about the whereabouts of her pin. Karen is like "Your what?" and Kristy's like "My PIN, Karen. Where is my freaking PIN?" And Karen gets all snooty about it and says "I have no idea what you're talking about. I have not seen your pin. I know nothing about your pin except YOU NEVER LET ME BORROW IT!!!" Again, Karen is lucky Kristy isn't like most 13-year-old sisters I know. Kristy calls bullshit. Karen goes "Look in the jewelry box where you left it" and Kristy's like "AHA! It wasn't IN my jewelry box, it was on the dresser. Now TELL ME WHERE IT IS." Karen realizes she's trapped now and finally confesses. Kristy starts crying, tells Karen she's extremely pissed at her now, and walks off. Karen starts crying as well because BAWWW KRISTY'S MAD AT MEEEEE!!!!111
Chapter 14
Kristy refuses to speak to Karen and she also doesn't tell Watson. Karen is glad Kristy is not "being a baby tattletale." She's only not telling Watson 'cause she knows she can do worse than Watson ever will. Karen says she wants Kristy to know she's sorry but that the whole thing is totally her fault for not letting her borrow the pin in the first place. GAAAH SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. Karen decides she's gonna troll Kristy with notes since she won't talk. MAYBE JUST LEAVE HER ALONE BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SCREWED UP, KAREN. FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. But nope, Chuck Testa. Karen writes the following note (direct-quoted):

DEAR KRISTY,
I AM SORRY I LOST THE PIN. YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME BORROW IT.?

........

Someone do a book switch and give Karen Erica Harrington's sister from Allie Finkle's Rules For Girls, please. SHE'LL give this little brat what she deserves and a LOT more.?

Karen harasses Shannon to deliver the note to Kristy. Kristy tells her she'll be damned if she's reading any notes from her. Joke's on you, Karen.

That's all for now, folks. Enjoy the rage.?

Source: http://bsc-snark.livejournal.com/340598.html

cat in the hat green eggs and ham wiz khalifa and amber rose oh the places you ll go blunt amendment justin bieber birthday read across america